This past Sunday marked 100 days since JP and I got married. I know you usually have to wait a year (or two) before writing something about your marriage, at least that’s what I’ve read around the internet these past couple of weeks (hey, I have a lot of free time these days).
Anyway, I just wanted to share some realizations, some little life changes that I thought of a few weeks after we got back to Singapore as husband and wife.
You can’t run out on him anymore
I have to admit, I’m the runner in the relationship. No, not the 10-K type (although I do that too), but the one who walks out when we have arguments. When we were not yet married and we have disagreements, I would just storm off and go to my own flat and leave JP alone. Just to let both of us cool down, especially me, with my temper.
We recently had a discussion where I got really annoyed with him, and I seriously wanted to leave, then I realized: I live with him now and I can’t go anywhere. I had two options: a) sort out this issue and make amends or b) sleep outside on the couch, which has hot and uncomfortable. guess which one I went with.
What is yours is his, what is his is yours
I used to be one of those independent, career-oriented women. I pay my own bills, my own trips, my own expenses. I channeled Beyonce and Destiny’s Child (cue song: Independent Women). When I lost my job, I had to cut down on a LOT of spending. A few weeks after we got married, we were walking in the mall and passed by Charles and Keith. I exclaimed it’s been so long since I went shopping for shoes. JP offered to give me shopping money, and I didn’t really know what to say.
Initially, I refused, because the thought of him giving me money for shopping seemed to spell the end of my independence. All he said was that he’s working for BOTH of us now, if I need anything, he will provide. I’m still having second thoughts about that till today, but soon, I’ll probably take him up on his offer. after all, who can resist a shopping spree? haha.
You now make priorities and decisions as a couple
When we were not yet married, it was easy to make decisions on our own. I used to push my point just to get the results I wanted. But now, I have to listen to his voice too. From simple things, such as: “do we celebrate Christmas with his family or mine”, or ” how long should we stay in Singapore, and where do we move”, every major decision has to be a result of some serious discussion (and sometimes arguments) between us.
So far, everything’s alright with us. We’re slowly learning a bit more about each other, and accepting each other’s little quirks.
What about you, what lessons have you learned when you got married? Please share and enlighten this newlywed!